Looking Back but Moving Forward

I’ve been meaning to write a follow-up post and fill you guys in on what happened since the guy surprised me on the weekend of February 8^th. Holy shit I can’t believe it’s already been three weeks.

Well, we’re just friends.

Actually, I’m pretty sure he’s talking to another guy and maybe even dating. I’m not entirely sure but regardless, I’m happy for him. Through this experience, I’ve realized I wouldn’t be able to do a long-distance relationship anyways. It’s just not for me.

Without this experience I would have never known that. “Everyone is meant to show you some side of you whether it’s positive or negative.” Michelle told me this and these words really touched me. He taught me a lot about myself and what I want from a relationship and the kind of guy I’m looking for.

"Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder." Thoreau The same goes for chasing love. If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you know I went through an era of chasing love using dating sites and it was mostly for self-approval. I never wanted to admit it but I enjoyed the obnoxious amounts of messages and positive feedback guys would leave me on these sites. But I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. I needed that feedback because I had never received that form of recognition from guys before and at the time I was too frightened to flirt with guys outside of the virtual world.

After he left, I did a lot of self-reflecting. Going into this semester, I made a promise to myself. That no matter what life had in store for me, I would place my health and school first. Unfortunately, I wasn’t doing too good of a job balancing my insane school workload. We we’re Face Timing almost every night and I began falling behind in school. Fortunately, he understood and we text every now and then.

The craziest thing is I graduate college and move back home in less than four months. It’s the most exciting and nervous feeling. I miss my family and Michelle so much. I’ve become so conditioned to the life of school, homework, professors, library, and repeat. I’m so beyond ready to move on from this cozy, college bubble world chapter of my life. College is the most fun I never want to have again.

Is Grad School a consideration? Absolutely. But I want to take some time off and focus entirely on me. Growing a garden, joining a yoga studio, producing artwork and getting a gym membership are the things I want to do. Clean eating, fitness and art make me feel the happiest. I know if Grad School is right for me, than things will work out.

College has been one hell of a ride. And I can’t thank all of you enough who have helped shape me and help me through all my low times. From my fraternity experience, to my counseling sessions, to meeting http://socrkid17.blogspot.com/ in real life, to finding God, to the LA model guy experience, to creating this blog and so much more, I will walk away from my college experience without a single regret.