Joan: A Bundle of Sassy Amazingness

I went to Publix this afternoon after I got out of class and was overly excited to run over to the produce section and get KALE! Yes you read correctly. Kale, my friends. That green vegetable that’s freaking jam packed with Vitamin K. MMM yummy

Michelle is always telling me about her organic creations and one of them being kale chips. It sounded good to me so I decided to give it a shot. I’m doing this new challenge where I cook and experiment with two new ingredients each week. This week being kale to make kale chips and I made guacamole for the first time earlier in the week! Both came out delicious.

So I walk over to the fresh veggies and first off, scan all the tiny ass labels because I don’t know what kale even looks like. After I find the kale, I grab one of those really skinny plastic bags and awkwardly try to cram the kale into the bag. Than a woman walks up to me

Woman: Is that kale?

Me: Yes it is! I’ve never tried it before but I hope it tastes good!

Woman: …It doesn’t. It’s really bitter. *reaches for lettuce* that’s why I eat this stuff

Me: Uh oh! Well my best friend makes kale chips and says there really good so I hope they taste better that way!

I walk over to the fresh fruit. As I’m checking out the awesome deal on strawberries…the woman walks up to me, grabs me around the waist and whispers in my ear “raspberries are better for your sex drive.”

Guys, we looked at each other and both started cracking up. This woman looked like she was in her mid-60s and I seriously wish she was my grandma.

It gets better! We cross paths in the dairy section and she sarcastically asks “are you following me around the store?” I laughed, we exchanged names and then she goes “wow, if I was younger, I would be all over you!” I was laughing so hard. Old ladies mackin’ on me in the grocery store, ugh such a turn-on. I hope we cross paths again one day Joan, you sassy little woman.

Anyways, the kale chips turned out surprisingly good! I drizzled some olive oil and Italian breadcrumbs on them and vwala! 30 minutes in the oven and you’ve got yourself an uber healthy snack.

With the help of friends, family, watching documentaries and doing online research, I’m becoming a health nut. Growing up I was always thin and relatively fit, so I never thought twice about what I put into my body. But with age, comes wisdom, and with my recent discovery of how many GMO’s and preservatives the food industry coats our food with, I’m changing my ways. Michelle is slowly becoming completely organic and I am following in her footsteps.

I intend to live a happy, spiritually-filled, fun life.  Eating completely organic, I want to grow an immaculate garden and know exactly what I'm eating. Join a meditation and yoga studio (possibly become a certified yoga instructor one day), produce amazing artwork, and make a change in the world through healthy foods and artwork. I’m getting goose bumps just thinking about it! Art is my talent and yoga and healthy eating are my passions. Combing the three will make me the happiest guy alive.

I hope you all have a happy and healthy weekend.

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