Tuesday, November 2, 2010

My greatest struggle is one that cannot be seen

Its official, all my roommates are now in the loop! I came out to my third roommate this evening. I honestly could not have received a better reaction. He was so nice and understanding about everything. I explained everything to him, starting with when I first found out I was different than the other kids all the way to the struggles I face in college on a daily basis. I have now come out to a DOZEN people and I could not be more proud of myself.

I would like to share with you guys a bible verse I stumbled upon and really find deep meaning in it.

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4

I have learned several things from this journey I started not too long ago. One thing I have learned is that crying doesn’t mean you’re weak. Means you’ve been strong for too long. I have cried more in the last four months then in my entire life combined. While I am crying tears of pain, I know in the back of my head I have come all this way with newfound courage I never knew I had, courage that will guide me through the next trial in this journey, the same courage I will hold onto for the rest of my life.

No one said facing your deepest secret was going to be easy, but not facing your deepest secret is ten times harder. If there is one thing I do on this Earth before I pass away, informing people that homosexuality is not a sin would be my greatest accomplishment. Our society once treated African Americans and women as second class citizens. Giving homosexuals the same rights as heterosexuals is vital. My dream would be to branch out to every single person who is in the closet and give them Hope. To not feel helpless, pain and alone. To be proud of who they are and how God made them. I want them to never go through the immense pain I went through.

Tyler Clementi, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase, Billy Lucas amd Cody J. Barker. These were seven individuals with a purpose. Seven individuals with a dream. Seven individuals who ended their lives after being bullied and harassed because of their sexual identity. It is so sad that homosexuals are not getting the support that they need and are resorting to suicide. Contemplating suicide is quite possibly the worst feeling on this Earth. This brings nothing but pain and torture to your loved ones if it wins the battle. Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. accept no one's definition of your life, but allow God to define yourself.


  1. I absolutely love this post. I've been looking for a bible quote that I could put as a tat on my body but never could really find one that hit my heart like the one you just wrote, thanks so much. I blog myself, truthaboutabi if you wanna read my stuff. Email me sometime, it'd be cool to chat

  2. AGD: Your strength gives us renewed hope that things truly can get better, because your example of the last few months serves as a beacon to all those out there who suffer quietly in despair. I hope someone. perhaps your siblings, will relay to your parents how proud they should be that they raised such a courageous son, who has taught so many others not to be afraid.

  3. I enjoy coming out stories as I have been there, done that, and it is uaually less painful and more of a release and relief than was imagined before. So your story has prompted me to put a new column on my side blog headed Coming Out Stories and I will continue to add more that I find. I do believe the experiences of others will help more guys like you find your feet. Congrats on taking the steps.