Tuesday, August 5, 2014

The House That Built Me

I cried the other day. I cried for the first time in a while. The last time I cried was over a year ago when I stood lifeless and terrified in my empty, childhood bedroom the second night I moved back home from college. The realism that college was officially over came crashing into me all at once in that moment. I stared out my window and I felt so far away from my friends. Like we were worlds away. I felt numb. My forehead laid against the glass of the window and I cried and cried and cried, wishing that I could go back to college where I felt safe. Where I found myself and I felt alive.

Moving back into my parents house jobless, with a Fine Arts degree, was absolutely horrifying for me. Especially since the majority of my friends had 'big boy/girl' jobs lined up or were preparing for graduate school. And the most embarrassing thing was when I started hearing the same question over and over again from friends and relatives: "so what are you up to now?"

Truth be told, I didn't know. I didn't have a concrete answer to that question. I felt like an idiot, like I didn't succeed. I never told anyone that. But in so many ways I did succeed in college, in my own ways. I spent so many days after moving home, comparing and putting myself down for not being on the same level as my peers.

But what I did and still do know, is that I could never work a typical 9-5 cubicle job and drawing is my gift from the Universe. I knew in every fiber of my being that I had to pursue it with all my heart.

I prayed so much for guidance over the last year since moving home. It seemed like every time I got in the shower, a new drawing idea was miraculously popping into my head. I started writing messages to God through the steam on the shower doors, like written prayers since I'm a visual person.

With a lot of praying and some more self-acceptance, a year has passed since the night I broke down upon moving back home and I've drawn about 100 portraits!

The most recent portrait I did made me cry. This is the first drawing I've produced that has literally made me tear up. The meaning behind it is extraordinarily special to me. The drawing is a picture of my friend Kathleen, whom I've known my entire life and is a second sister to me. She lost her parents a year and a half ago. She lost her mother and her father on the same day. She was 26 and her brother was 24 when the tragedy happened.

Kathleen got married two months ago and unfortunately her parents weren't able to be there. So I drew she and her mother looking back at each other, referencing both pictures from their wedding day.

This time around, I cried happy tears. I cried because I finally feel like I'm on the right path and figuring out how to turn my passion into a career, while touching people's hearts at the same time. And that's what life is all about. 

If you'd like to see my other portraits, my website is http://www.jeremymannino.com/

Much Love guys.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Tattoo #2

I know what I'm getting for my second tattoo! After getting my first tattoo two and a half years ago, I knew I would eventually get a second one. How has it been that long!? I felt no sense of urgency to get back under the needle though, that shit hurt! Rather, when the time was right, I would know what I wanted and where on my body it would go.
Well that time has come and this beautiful idea came to me in a dream I had about a month ago. I remember white rose petals scattered everywhere. The petals were all over the grass I was standing on and I can vividly remember the sunshine on my skin, which I find interesting because I typically don't recognize the weather in my dreams. Off in the distance there was a female with long blonde hair that shinned in the sunlight who kept smiling at me. I felt an immense sense of comfort and serenity from this energy but when I tried to walk towards her, she kept pointing at her wrist, as if to motion me to look at my own. I looked down and written across my left wrist was 'Pray'. Than the dream ended. I don't remember looking back up at her or anything after that moment.
I woke up smiling though. Maybe that woman was an Angel who came to deliver that message? I don't know. Regardless of who that was, I like her and I hope she pops up in more of my dreams. haha Clearly the universe wants me to pray more. I absolutely believe in the power of prayer and I'm excited to see what blessings manifest into my life as I increase my praying. This tattoo will be a constant reminder to have faith and deepen my relationship with God and all the light beings in the world. I can use all the faith I can get. :)
Once I finish sketching up the tattoo and get it, I'll post a picture!  
Much Love guys.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Ab Buddy

Why am I so fucking shy?

There's this guy I've been eyeing at my gym for months now who's a total stud. Yet the second we lock eyes, my stomach drops like I'm plummeting down a rollercoaster and I look away instantaneously. Why is it so hard for me to stare back at him and smile, spark up a conversation and become friends?

He's so beautiful. Tall, fit but not too muscular and has a baseball player's stature. I'm way too attracted to this guy. I'm a pretty level-headed and rational dude--if I we're an outsider I would just tell myself to man up and talk to him. But clearly it's not that easy for me. His presence alone makes me nervous.

Occasionally we finish lifting at the same time and end up next to each other in the stretch area doing abs and he always pushes me to keep up with him. lol

The fact that I get excited to go to the gym in hopes that I'll see him there just reinforces I need to talk to this guy, regardless if he's gay or not. I'm sure he'd be a cool friend, considering we see each other about 5 nights a week.

Hopefully writing this down will give me some incentive to get over this issue and approach cute guys.